Scapegoat, Invisible Child, Golden Child, Parentified Child

In most families, children are raised in one of these roles and keep them into adulthood. Sometimes they have been given several roles, all bundled into one.  Sometimes those positions shift and change. Even if you reject the label someone has given you, the impact remains: no one hears or understands you, especially not the sibling who allegedly grew up in the same household.

Maybe you and your sibling grew up as best friends and now no longer speak. Maybe you were never close but now your parents need to be cared for and life is requiring you to work together, against your own better judgement. Whatever is bringing you to consider family therapy as siblings, the fact that you want to address it and move forward is a positive sign.

Resentment, frustration, hurt, anger, and feelings of betrayal are all common feelings in sibling relationships that are strained or even estranged. You might not know who they are any more and they certainly don't seem to know you. Complicating factors can include being step siblings, raising or being raised by a sibling, parents playing favorites, and twinships.

Wouldn't it be great to have a sibling you could rely on? Who you can laugh with and recall shared memories? Maybe even a sibling who gets you and with whom you can share mutual support and understanding.

Sibling Family Therapy Can Help.

It can also make things worse. That's why it's important to find a therapist who knows the nuances of complicated family relationships and can speak to your specific concerns with knowledge and compassion. It's also important to know if you are ready to engage and do the hard work of Sibling Therapy.

If you...

• Are willing to hear the other person (not just planning what you are going to say next)
• Are willing to engage in the process of grief and loss over what you thought you knew and wanted
• Have you done your own work, individually, with a therapist who knows how to help you grow through your specific experiences
• And willing to adjust your expectations to what is possible

You may be ready for Sibling Family Therapy. Siblings can learn to be emotionally responsive and hear what the other person is actually saying (and to finally be heard). Accountability, empathy, understanding, and safety are all possible if you are willing to take the risk of vulnerability through the work of sibling therapy.

Having an Individual Therapist to rely on is an important component of the sibling work we will be doing.  From time to time, you may even be given suggestions on things to bring back to your individual therapist to process and discuss outside of the sibling work. I will collaborate with your individual therapist to ensure a seamless continuity of care for you and your sibling.

Relationship reconciliation can be a painful, challenging process, but so is continuing to live in the cycle you are caught in. If you want to learn how to work through past hurts and betrayals and build a new foundation for your relationship, I can help.