Internal Family Systems (also known as IFS or "parts work") was developed by Richard Schwartz, PhD, as a way to conceptualize the different parts of our thoughts, feelings, and personality. We are all born with a core Self that contains the capacity for Calm, Clarity, Curiousity, Creativity, Courage, Confidence, Connection, and Compassion (the "8 C's"). Over time, life happens, and we develop protective Parts of ourselves (Managers & Firefighters) that work to keep us safe from Exiled feelings as we go through life. Exiled feelings are feelings that Parts believe we cannot tolerate, so at the first sign of trouble (the chance those feelings might be activated), the parts step into action. Managers scan the horizon, looking for trouble. Fire Fighters, well, they put out the fires that get past the Managers. Sometimes these parts run amok and become enmeshed with our Self. We become controlling, addicted, perfectionistic, critical, or panicky, because the parts do not trust the Self to keep us safe.

The goal of Parts Work is to learn more about the Parts - when they arrived in us and what they are trying to keep us safe from. We do this by listening to, and accepting, what the parts are trying to tell us, either through behaviors or physiological experiences (nausea, muscle tension, numbness, etc.). We help the Parts learn to trust the Core Self again by asking and then  providing what they need to feel comfortable letting our Core Self be in charge. When they feel safe, Parts can go from being Enmeshed to Integrated with the Self; Self becomes in charge, and Parts are free to be Unburdened of the constant need to be on guard and in action. We are able to respond to life in a way that is in alignment with our values and beliefs.

We are not trying to extinguish the parts. They developed for a reason and have a lot to teach us; all parts are welcome and there are no "bad" parts (even though we may not like them very much at the start of our work and sometimes one part may not like another).  When Integration occurs, the Self is in charge and takes cues from the Parts. They still have a role and a part (see what I did there?) to play, just not as intensely or as frequently as they used to. Most parts are happy to be Unburdened and go do the things that they could have been doing when they first arrived at a given stage of development (nap, play, sit in the sun, run through the forest, or even color).

Simple: If you are Responding from a place of the 8 C's (Calm, Clarity, Curious, Creativeness, Courage, Confidence, Connection, and Compassion), you are fully in Self. If you are not responding from a place of calm, clarity, courage, etc., you are likely Reacting; a Part is taking over to keep you from feeling Abandonment, Shame, Humiliation, Loss of Control, Rejection, Grief, Horror, Dread, Terror, Hurt, Fear, Guilt, Failure, or Loneliness (Exiled feelings).